Getting some weird vibes from her. Last night she was sitting next to me on the couch(as usual, watching some stupid tv show) when she turned her body toward mine, kissed me, and said "I love you. I want you to know that. I get the feeling that you haven't been feeling very loved lately."
Isn't it sad that, during this loving gesture by her, all I could see was red flags? Red flags: 1. If I answer "yes," she says something about how she gives and gives and nothing is good enough for me. 2. If I answer "yes," she says I lack self esteem and that I still have work to do on myself. 3. If I answer, "no," she says something about knowing what I'm thinking better than I do.
Meanwhile, I am also thinking about pulling her toward me and kissing her again, yet, from past experiences in situations similar to this (where she faces me on the couch, kisses me and says something serious, and I try to kiss her), I suspect that my advances will be thwarted, with a comment like, "why do you always do that?"
I finally said something like, "I'm fine. I know you love me. I love you, too."
As for letting her know that I think she's full of it regarding our Monday night experiment, part of me just wants to wait until the MC appointment next Monday. I know she'll just continue to deny that being physical was ever a part of the plan, and, unless she hears it from the MC, there's little wiggle room there.
But yes, blackfoot, part of me wants to look her in the eye and say, "you can tell me that your recollection of the 'Monday night' conversation at the MC office was just about turning off the television, but I think you're either fooling yourself, or you think I'm too weak to stand my ground. If you're fooling yourself, you need to figure out why. If you think I'm too weak to stand my ground, you're wrong. Either way, your actions aren't supporting the marriage."
As I said, however, I strongly suspect that a statement like that will just cause her to dig her heels in further, even if she is proven wrong at the MC's office. Heck, it's only five days away. I can wait.
Chrissy: good idea, but I really have no desire to go out with the boys at 9pm on Monday night. Most of my male friends, like me, have to get up early, have kids, and just aren't available.
