Last night, as we were lying in bed, I was telling her about a convo I had with my son, in which I was pretty harsh with him, because I was trying to get him to think about consequences. W said it sounded pretty harsh, too harsh, and said I could have done it better. I thought about it, and said, "I know it sounds like I was rough on him, but it probably sounds worse to you than it actually was." She said, "oh, so now that I'm sounding critical, you're saying that you weren't so rough on him?"
She pushed the button. You know, the one that is marked, "Push here to get Hairdog to be defensive and step in W's sh!t." But nothing happened this time. Instead, I said, "good night." And that was the last thing either of us said.
This morning, my alarm went off and she asked if I could take DD4 to school. I've told her many times that, absent extraordinary circumstances, I want to be asked no later than the night before. So, even though I usually say "yes," just to be accomodating, I said, "no, I really can't do that today."
And the world didn't end.
I just need to realize that it's not a choice between Mr. Nice Guy and Mr. Angry Guy. There's a lot of space in the middle.
I think writing down "I will not take her disrespect" 100 times is a good exercise.
