If you find out that he did have an affair, you'll feel terrible. It will haunt your thoughts. I know you think it might help to know... but it doesn't.
If he says that he didn't, you will constantly wonder if he was lying to you. You'll still think at times that maybe he was or is with someone else.
Caverna... I feel so bad for you, but I think you are over analyzing. It seems like your life is caught up so much in him that you think of nothing else. Every move you make seems to depend on him, or his reaction. You deserve more!
I truly believe that you will feel so much better if you just let go, concentrate on yourself, forget about what he is doing. This doesn't mean give up. In a sense you are just doing what you need to do for yourself, and, in turn, you are giving him space.
Good luck!
"There's a price to pay if you want to make things better, and a price to pay for just leaving things as they are."
My situation
