For whatever it is worth, I would take a bit different stance and continue to be very cordial, loving (no initiating physical contact because that is for us, not them) but aloof. You said it yourself that you had good results with LRT. That is such a hard one and it means a lot of different things in different relationships but I think it boils down to opening the door for our H's and leaving it to them to decide to pursue us. Our struggle is always "what if they don't" but love has got to be free. God could have created us to "make us" love him, but that wouldn't be love - I don't know what it would be but not love. The only way for it to make sense for our H's to stay is for them to be free to leave and to know that we will be okay (no - more than ok) without them. I backslide into the pursuit sometimes so quickly, it makes my own head spin!! But he likes the pursuit - makes him uncomfortable, I think because I have been running the show for so long. But he is more pleasant and seeks me out when I move out of that role.
Sorry - I am not very good at this thread thing. My sitch is summarized in a couple of my posts (haven't had that many). Click on my name and then "some encouragement to keep up the hard work". Unfortunately, I did not do something right in the beginning so the summary of my situation is on 10/8/05 in Newcomers under "some advice needed."
