updating... H came home to drop off the dog and I asked him to come inside. He had the biggest wrinkle in his forehead; a really, really, angry expression. I immediately pulled him and hugged him. Then I said, "I want you to be happy with or without me."
His expression softened and we chitchatted a bit (he asked if I was ok, I asked if he was ok, he told me to wear a jacket since it was cold outside), then we both left (I planned to go hiking with a friend).
I don't know what came to me to do that. I guess it was because I went to a lunch at a client's house (and she is a chef and a social butterfly) and there were many couples who looked happy there. Watching them made me realize that this is what I want. I want to be happy again. I want companionship. I want kids. I guess that softened my heart a little bit and made me want to be less of a bitch.
