I really have to agree with everything that sage has written. She's given you some excellent advice, as she usually does!
Inches, not yards. Stop looking for the "ulterior motives", because you're sure to find them, even if they're not there. What you focus on expands, remember?!
There would be only one more thing (for now anyway!) that I might add to what she has suggested. As you know, I've been trying to keep up on your progress for quite some time. In doing so, I have seen the roller-coaster ride you've been on, and how you've been undecided at times on whether or not you really want this relationship. This is perfectly understandable, and perfectly "normal" under the circumstances. I think that we've all "been there, done that". This, however, is a cheeseless, and frustrating tunnel. It takes you on a tiring ride, and sends your partner a lot of mixed messages.
What I might suggest would be for you to set a certain amount of time, AT LEAST a month, where you make the decision that, no matter what happens, all that you see for your relationship is reconciliation. That during this time period, totally going your own separate ways and never looking back is NOT an option.
During this time period, really really focus on your goals, and chart your progress. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the absolute pits and 10 being the best you could ever imagine, where are you right now, and look at where you're at, overall, at the end of your set date. From there, you'll have a better idea if what you're doing is working at all, if you might need to change strategies a bit, or if you want to even consider putting forth any more effort into this relationship.
Also, again, EVERYTHING that sage has suggested to you, too!
JJ
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