Quote: Just try to keep up your PMA and focus on the positives. Try to share your anxious feelings here or with a friend so that you don't sabotage your R with your W. Don't know if you have a tendency to do that at all.. just projecting from my sitch because that's where I've went wrong. By dragging H back into the past by expressing my anxieties, I treated myself to a lot of encouragement from him, but it only accomplished dragging him backwards. He said "I go two steps forward and you knock me back down"
I really grabbed onto the idea that by expressing too much anxiety may yield me some encouragement - which appeases me in the short term. . .but may have other more lasting consequences as to her feelings about things. I guess I want to give off the impression that I have "moved on" confidently, so as to "lead" her to do the same. Daggone it, I hate all of this calculated passive-aggressive behavior. I guess that brings up another point, that I just need to freakin' relax.
My lack of relaxation is causing some tension, I think. Conversation seems to be a little more difficult, I have painted myself into a corner worrying that she is going to want to talk about something negative. I guess my negativity is trying to come out again.
Suit, she got an earlier flight home last night rather than today. D3 and I picked up some flowers and met her at the airport, I had a sandwich and a drink for her figuring that she'd be hungry. As we put D3 to bed, W told her that "Daddy was coming downstairs with Mommy because she wants to spend some time with Daddy." Maybe we aren't doing as much physical stuff lately, but she has given me some positive comments lately I should just roll with. Plus, we are both sick. . .but that wouldn't stop me. I know, guys are pigs.
We are off to a costume party on Saturday. W said she might be Little Red Riding Hood - so I told her I'd be the Big Bad Wolf (gag) - I'm not a costume guy. It was more of an homage to that rather famous joke - which is rather crude, but funny. "Little Red Riding Hood, you shouldn't have come to Grandma's house because I'm the Big Bad Wolf and you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna. . . ." the rest is too crude, but that oughta spark some memories for those of you that have heard it.
Anyway - I may head to the Army Navy store and get some old combat boots and go as a punk rocker - circa 1981.
Thanks y'all!
"Find a way to spend a little time every day working to become what you are destined to be."
