Looks like you haven't posted in a while? I hope all is well for you. I caught up as best i could and it sounds like things are still slowly plugging along. Frustrating, isn't it? I know you feel like the pace is deadly. But think of where you were just a year ago. I think you've made wonderful progress in your sitch.
FWIW, I think scrutiny of each other's computers and the like is a good way to get your H to feel emasculated. Leave him his privacy, I say. This is of course from a snooper, and this may sound hypocritical, but I think that public "checking up" is a bad idea.
Are you still heaping on the WOA at your H's work with your son? Making him feel manly when he heads off to a conference? Supporting him as an "expert" at something?
I wonder if your H says he's OK with no affection but, like S., is starved for it. I know I thought S. didn't want it from me, only to find months and months later that he really does. It's tough, getting in there for a hug when you think your partner wants anything but. If you tried it, and he rejected you, it would only last a few minutes (the rejection, I mean). But if you tried it, and he responded, you may reap bigger rewards.
