Quote: I was impressed with his idea and said, "That sounds like a great idea; I don't think I would have thought of that." He smiled nicely as he went to finish writing up his report. So no good-night but a pretty good exchange.
Excellent, Wendy - a very nice exchange! That's exactly the kind of thing I was talking about. I'll issue a small warning, though - you have to keep it up and be consistent. You saw the effect that your words had - a bright smile for a few moments. I think if you're consistent - present in the conversation, giving him your attention & appreciation, those moments will become longer & longer. He'll want to seek you out because he feels good when he's around you. Remember that they say that A's are not about the OW or the sex, it's about how the WA feels about HIMSELF when he's with her.
Now I know there will be people who will say "Hey, what about ME?" and I'll say it's not always easy to be the one working so hard at the R. But I think it takes one to turn the tide, and right now that person is you. I don't think of it as falsely catering to HIS needs - no, I see it more as creating a safe & loving environment. And I do believe that you will reap what you sow.
And finally I'll nudge you again to set some small goals - some small action-oriented things you can do to measure your progress. . . .
