Unilateral Disarmement - 3

[Wendylon]

Thank you, H2H, for your post. You're right: initiating a good night wouldn't be fake as in false. I think I was thinking of fake in the sense of contrived and not spontaneous. It helps to think it through though and realize that it isn't insincere, that it does fit in with my values and that I want to do that kind of thing. Yes, I still find WOA difficult. H sort of gave me some ideas on a platter yesterday when he said that he was working really hard. I think that's the kind of thing he'd like to hear at the moment. I have the same resistance that I have with the good-night scenario. I cringe at the thought of being so deliberate and unspontaneous about it. I guess that is a small price to pay in the overall context.

At any rate, H beat me to it last night and said "good night" with a knowing smile. I responded and then initiated a short hand squeeze. This morning I thought he was a little friendlier as he went off to work, leaving me to juggle an impossible schedule of activities for the kids. They are now all deposited (some late) and I'll have the same impossible pick-up at 3pm.

I'm feeling mixed about my women's retreat tomorrow. I both want to enjoy it because I'll be there for 4 days but not so much that I have misgivings about it being my last one. Also, I don't want to be coerced into not leaving. And then H would think that I haven't been working on myself after all...