Unilateral Disarmement - 3

[Wendylon]

I got locked out of my last thread. I'm following Jennifer's advice and have moved to Piecing. I thought things had to be going very well to be in Piecing but, on reflection, I probably do fit in here.

Thank you, Betsey and Jennifer, for your posts on my last thread. I look forward to staying in touch with you from my new abode.

Here is my last thread: Unilateral Disarmement - 2

Not much change in my sitch other than the fact that I'm becoming increasingly impatient and hurt by the continued lack of affection in our R.

I was feeling a bit down this morning and brought up the issue with H of our R being so cold. I said that I knew we both contribute to it but that it makes me sad. H said that, for whatever reason, he's fighting tooth and nail not to go that last little bit towards recommitting to our life, that being affectionate with me would be the final nail in the coffin with regard to the fantasy he'd built up over the last couple of years (i.e. OW). He did admit that the fantasy was infantile because he thought everyone could be happy and that that would patently not have been the case if he'd left.

H did initiate a hug during our convo (the first in over a month) and I'm pleased that we did talk a bit more intimately than usual. We don't have our MC session this week because it's half-term so it's as if we've sort of had an R talk anyway.

I find myself feeling critical when H is talking about his process as the whole thing sounds very self-centred and dramatic. I also feel annoyed that it's all about him.