I was trying to save myself from doing all the typing and hoping others would eventually join in and say why!
OK, I'll give some... "She can't bring up the nerve to say it, but I know (for a fact) that she does."
She's conflicted. She doesn't want it, but she wants it (and you don't want it). Don't make her decision for her by doing it for her. She has to make her own decisions. Leaving the ball in her court to do all the work that may her face her issues to determine if she really wants out - or not.
Deep down, WASs are unsure of what they're doing. They may give an outward appearance that they're sure, they may tell you they're sure, they may convince themselves that they're sure. But they're human, and have doubts and insecurities. It could very well be that she may yet turn around if your situation is young, and you'd be heading for the divorce court instead of reconciliation.
You're absolutely on the right track by agreeing with her, if she brings up divorce, because if you fight her, maintaining that you don't want a divorce, that just gives her something to fight about, and would likely make her more adamant, instead of clearing away all obstacles that would keep you both in adversarial positions.
