Instantly I can tell you are driving your wife away! tisk tisk
Have a read of all my mistakes :-) do a search on my username and my posts a few months ago. I spent a good deal explaining how I did things wrong.
Anyway, back to you. I can see you are very emotional, the world seems to be collapsing.... everything is about to be lost! huh?
Well put things in perspective for a minute. First, your wife is still calling you! Bonus!! She is seeking help, you are still a part of her life. Awesome.
Now...you're destroying it at the same time!! You are coming across as needy and a loser by seeming desperate to make it all work. She wants a strong man. This doesn't mean "hey honey - come back home now!" It means being able to control your emotions, control your communication, being able to be supportive when SHE needs it.
Best you spend a bit of time reading through many many posts.... learn from those who have been there and done that.
Now I strongly recommend this... stop drinking and get out with friends. Find people to talk to, release it. But not on your ex! Leave her be... there is NOTHING 'you' can say that will make her come back! Nothing!!! There is EVERYTHING you can do to change you, find the person she fell in love with, to draw her back and not be needy.
Ok if I'm sounding a little harsh well maybe people need to hear the realities of the sitch. If you continue to berate, call, seem needy, phone when drunk, all she sees is a complete tosser and who wants someone like that? Put it in reverse... would you want some girl that begs and cries and has no control over themselves? uh ahhh. I'd be going ewwwww stay away girl. I'll find someone who is like ... normal.
The hardest thing, and it is hard, is to find the real you again. And that might mean letting go of your ex for some time. Allow yourself to begin to heal, see and reflect on how you may be contributing to making it worse, ponder what makes other guys get the girl... never begging! Confidence, humour, smiles, being there when they need you, allow them to come to you... not the other way around.
This time in your life is probably the worst you may feel. Ive been there...for nearly a year until 'I' dragged myself out. You have to make real changes... REAL changes. Tidy the house, mow the lawn, walk the dog, call friends and ask how 'they' are doing, shop, buy new clothes, eat healthy, join a club, go to the movies, take your mind off things. They will not just toss you aside... not yet. To me it sounds like your wife is still has you in her heart, don't force her or tell her stuff anymore.
Ok I think I said my piece...its up to you buddy. Its hard, its tuff, sort yourself out and then sort the marriage if she wants you back.
Now.... read and learn from other people... there is sooo much good stuff around (and stuff that has dropped off but can stiff be found)
