spent 3 days with daughters, they are so wonderful!!! they are a gift of God truly. oh well, the bad part of the trip is that youngest D mentioned the name of OM. that killed me. so, that is the situation, W does hang out with Ds and OM. i got them to a room and asked them, they said no that they dont spend time with OM but that they sometimes see him. i called XW, and blasted her, insults and all, could not control my anger and resentment. 2 days have passed and i dont regret the outburst, i actually do understand. however, i have ACCEPTED the situation and that she will be with OM o other OM in her life, and if my Ds live with her, they will have to get used to that situation as well. i dont care anymore. i just dont want to talk to her anymore. or have contact. i know this is not DBing, but hey, i am feeling more in control of my life. i am feeling more powerful because i can react with anger and with self judgement (even though it doesnt help the DBing process). i care for Ds, and i send money, and travel to see them. i just dont want to be in contact with XW anymore. i am done with the hopes and wishes that she will one day wake up. i am not closing doors, but i need to go through this inner change of detachment (maybe not DBappropriate) but it sure feels better than feeling like a toy of her life.
