thank you hopefloats. hello everyone, may 2006 be the best year of our entire lives. update. today , my Ds have been with me for an entire month. it has been great, and i have had a great time with them. i am pretty much recovered from the depressive bouts, i have been accepting and assuming my situation, and have been really GALing. i have stopped smoking for 3 weeks now, not really needing it. my frame of mind and emotional life is what dictates all of these changes. i actually have accepted the situation, i dont hate my ex W , but do not care for her anymore. this doesnt mean that i dont love her or would go back with her.... but for that to happen, she would have to establish major communication efforts from her part, she would have to conquer me back, if not, well that is life...... i have pretty much accepted the situation, meaning that i dont care (i have actually shot her in my mind), so i am just hanging out, preocuppied on planning my Ds activities, work, and my personal life. i laugh, because sometimes i feel that ¨life begins at 40¨ makes much sense to me. its a feeling of experience, maturity, financial stability, peace, serenity, well i dont want to give an arrogant sensation, but i am much better than 10 years ago, when i got married. Ds are going to stay till the end of january, and then will go back with their M. i am pretty sure they will want to live with me eventually, one of the reasons i feel happy is that i know i will always be for them and they will be for me. it is so weird to read things and not understand them before, of course DB helped to cope intellectually but nothing could help the pain i felt inside. only time made it better, i dont know, life is pretty amazing, time to heal, recuperate, go back to normality. one thing i have learned, is that i really truly enjoy waking up and doing things. much better doing something than being depressed in your bed all day. difference is that now i can do things, before i just wanted to die. again, best wishes for the new year.
