I am right here my friend. Went through (going through) a stage that I really can't define. I am tearing away from feelings for wife....visualize taking a piece of cheesy pizza from the whole. The piece is coming out but the strands of cheese are still connected. I am trying to break the strands. Damn...now I'm hungry.
Sometimes the key to our mental health...finding our peace is simple. The word "time" is simple but you have to nurture the gift of time. We can't just let it happen. We have to take advantage of it. Time is not an enemy...it is something to take advantage of but not let it go without paying attention to it. That is where we need (you need) to DB. My friend, you need to go dark. While you are dark, use "time" to heal and detach. Pray for strength. Pray for strenght to NOT call or write W. She does not want you "right now". As NYS will tell you, things and feelings change every day, every week and every year. Let time work and do it's thing. Let time work and maybe, maybe W will change her feelings for OM and for you. I believe that Walk Aways change their feelings for Left behinds (us) when their feelings for OP's change. They can't come home to us and they won't feel love for us untill their feelings for OP are gone. That is where time is your weapon. The great thing about it is that we can go on with our lives (our choice) and think positive about everything. Just let W go and enjoy. Be sad when it's time but do it without W's knowledge. She should not be involved in your new normal. She is the kids' mom and that is it. Don't call or write. Go dark. She will never respect you or think about you as long as you chase her. As long as you long for her and she knows it.
Ok, Db. Go to work. Start now. Go dark and enjoy your life. It's ok to think about her but that is it. Just like the playboy magazine pin up when you were 12. You like her but there is not a damn thing you can do about it....so accept that and let time take you forward.
