well, the conversation kind of got moved from one hijacked thread to another... but the "symptom" is SSM....the cause, or at least my contribution, is that I'm a dismissive/avoidant closed off emotionally non-communicative, yadda yadda yadda.
W says that that its related to or at least exacerbated by the "flying/heart" thing, which is "unresolved". I don't know a): if this is true, or b): if it is true, what to do about it.
my cold, calculating engineer-type self says that it just "is"...life sucks and then you die.