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I think it's worth noting how you either discounted. deflected, or devalued several of my attempts to reach out to you...


well, I didnt' mean to do that. I only meant to further explain, because most people don't get it. You get it; thats great. But most people see airplanes the same way they see a can opener. "what could possibly be the big deal??".
most people (not that I tell the story that often, but) respond with something like, "yeah, I always wanted to do that, too, but I wore eye-glasses since I was a kid". No, that is NOT even close to being the same thing. Or, offer another annoying "little engine that could" anectdote..."pma will get you around any obstacle...if you try try try..." BULL$HIT! these people have obviously never dealt with the FAA

anyhow...
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Lil comment: you have made the assumption that my H didn't have the bug, based on--??

.
no, didn't assume. I said "IF". even IF he didn't have the bug himself, he would still understand. either way, he would understand, too.





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Do you often push people away who are offering you warm fuzzies?


Its never been mentioned before...didn't think so, but maybe I do.
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I believe that your bottled up anger and grief are having a ripple effect in your marriage... maybe you'll never FEEL better about the loss of your dream of being a pilot. I don't know for sure... but you will probably FEEL better about the rest of your life when you air out that anger and grief.

You say you think about this every day. And that your W has said you should grieve this-- quite sensitive of her, if you ask me. Many wives would not say this...



yep. but what I don't understand is:
a) how its affecting other things
b) WHAT to do about it? exactly what???? "grieve"...what does that mean? how do you do it???

its annoying me, reading the Schnarch book..."release the anxiety".
If I knew how to do that, I wouldn't need the #%$ book!


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So when people reach out to you, reach back-- don't minimize your hurt to yourself. It's as though a little-boy-version of yourself is tugging on your pants leg and saying, "You mean Christmas is NEVER going to come??" and you're kicking the little tyke away and snarling, "Yeah, kid, that's what I said: no Christmas, no Santa, no presents! Now beat it! You're bothering me!"


I don't mean to minimize; I just don't know what to do about it.
"and yeah, kid. there ain't no Santa Claus". thats exactly what it feels like.