Quote: Chuck, this is HUGE... I'm so sorry your health prevented you from attaining your dream. Damn. Have you really let yourself be angry about this and also to grieve over it? Or are you telling yourself that it doesn't matter and it's no big deal? It's a very big deal. This is huge... really. (((((Chuck)))))
no, I never told myself or anyone else that it wasn't a big deal. probably the opposite. *I* know its a huge deal, but I figure that most other people just wouldn't get it. Anyone who doesn't have what we pilots refer to as "the bug". once you get it, there's no getting rid of it, and no one that doesn't have it can quite understand it. Your late H would understand...even if he didn't have the bug himself (lots of people in war-time kind of "fall into" aviation...they didn't necessarily seek it out. many of them just hang it up when their hitch is over, and never miss it or look back) but he knew people that did. And pretty much the same thing happened to him. except, he at least got to "the top", if only for a short time. anyhow, yeah, W says I didn't completely "grieve" this loss. sure, I was angry...still am. again, it "just is", and there's nothing I can do about it. there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it.
Quote: And the way you describe how you and your W got together is about the most unromantic thing I ever heard. It's almost as unromantic as my bf coming to be drunk every night for the first two years of our R...
well, its not as bad as all that. we just grew together, slowly...not much that can be described as "whirlwind", but so what? it just wasn't "typical". neither are "we".
Quote: ... For one thing, you have the choice whether to let these things determine WHO you are now.
That IS who I am now. the result of my experience...a flightless bird, with clipped wings. Thats never going to change. my marriage will be fine. we've made great progress in the last couple of weeks, recognizing some of these destructive patterns.
