I'm making quite a few assumptions so sorry if I go the wrong way. Some guys need to be so gruff all the time. Some guys can't get soft and quiet, if you will the sip something you enjoy while holding your wife and gazing into the fire.

Or to put it another way, what did you do as you were dating your wife that lead her to say, "I do."....Do that some more.

Pity me that the heart is slow to learn What the swift mind beholds at every turn. Edna St. Vincent Millay