I have pretty much given up, yet once in a while I get a hug deserved or not. If the partner is not actively "attempting change", the ole adage of "you can change yourself but no other" holds so much truth, unfortunately. This is true even if you only seek to revert him/her to his/her old self. The one you fell in love with in the beginning.
I was enjoying the ladies successes, Cine's, HP's, GEL's. I was envious that my negative attitude was likely biting me in the behind. Is it that what we wish is in fact unobtainable? There are many things in my relationship that need help. Communication is paramount.
I read and envy most of your journalistic skills and wish I could make myself that clear. I can "feel" your circumstances as if they were happening here. The "brass" or some of the remarks, something like, "Trade the gift in on something I really want", although sad, had me cracking up in a "you go girl" way.
I see some progress here. Yet I have to accept that doing for me, errands and the like, is all I get, anything UN-personal. Anything emotionally close, washing my back, snuggling, etc is out. Life hurts. Yet that does make my day easier to have errands done. My life is harder for it's not happy. So negative/defeatist, it’s not happy and therefore will not last as long.
I have to get out of the house, I guess, C's suggestion. I have my plants, pets and responsibilities that I have hidden in. Yes, hidden. It's rough to know I have to establish something emotional with someone else; maybe just "candy striping" and doing something nice for someone to get a loving smile. That would go far.
Ladies, oh how I hope you return to the progress side of the journal, where you all have been this summer. I was enjoying your successes. Good luck to us all...
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
