Aloofness? Do you think I am so attractive, attraction would last over a 8 year R that my x and I would have a great sex life with no EC? WOW, thanks. I am being ridiculous to prove a point. I was not aloof, untill I detached. I don't know BF. I think you are more aloof than you realize. The whole bringing OM into your home says to me that you were quite aloof to begin with. I think it was Stigmata who brought up the EGO issue. I think your ego will always get in your way and yes, even after an 8 year R with hot sex. I do NOT think you are narcissistic as some have mentioned, but egotistical? Without a doubt. Do not let OM live with me. That's a good start.Proximity certainly didn't help but certainly was not the cause. Adultery is not a test. Affair is not a test. They are dissolution of marriage contract. EVERY civilization and religion agrees with this. Many of them quite vociferously. our societys acceptance and tolerance of this behavior says loads. You can't tell me this isn't rationalization at its finest. Your defense mechanism is so clinical, so intellectualized. And since when do you worry about what the rest of society is doing. The test is not the affair but your response to it. And what does all of that say for my situation? So my H can abandon his family, move out into an apartment with absolutely no discussion with myself or the effect on the kids, but what? I should really make it work with him but you are a MAN so you don't have to put up with that crap? You can have pride but I can't? Hmpf. I struggle with this every day. It's not easy. But it is still a test. To validate you. no, yes, maybe( how else can I self improve?), I dont currently have any, I am, and I do. Thanks for that. Too cryptic BF. Need translation. if a male has value to his SO, he doesnt need to 'fight' for her. A woman seeking this is insecure and getting something from trying to emotionally juice him in this way. This will be your kiss of death. Women want to feel needed, loved, cherished. So it's a little hokey and over the top romantic but that's what tends to push our buttons. I am a hopeless romantic but also don't believe that you find the one person and live happily ever after. In fact, don't believe in soul mates, one true loves, any of that stuff. But I am a hopeless romantic in the sense that I believe we can find people in this world that we connect with, emotionally, sexually, etc. When you find that, you should always fight for it. Even 10, 20 years later. I'm still fighting despite all the bs. Guess you just not a hopeless romantic. Big shocker. Too much makes me very uneasy. It will cause me to disappear or stop replying to interactions with a married individual if it happens to much or seems inappropriate to me. Thanks for the validation, you have the potential to be fine wine also. The most fascinating part of this paragraph is the fact that I have the potential to make you "very uneasy". Vulnerable? Uncomfortable? Hmmm. Will process. Of course you talk to all married people on here also so you must be referring to.... Got it. I dont see how I have come off as a 'player' anywhere on this BB Don't play dumb. If you have not stated it outright on THIS BOARD you have implied it and also have stated it elsewhere. I don't appreciate you trying to make me look stupid to boost your own self-rightousness. Very unattractive and not cool. Lay off it. "Can't we all just get along"? As for being attracted to strong women, that doesnt mean they are dominant. Totally agree. If the man is strong and she trusts him, she will stop her testing. Some women choose to stop or fight this tendancy to do their part in having a healthy R. Operative word being TRUST. Also why is it strictly "women" need to fight this tendency? What about you? Are you saying you could never stop the tendency to not trust your ex in order to have a "healthy" R? I do care,(which you claim to know) I do try to do the right thing. I do know and I believe you. Not harsh, your just a sensitive girl . Thats a good thing. Let your H see it. I am going to keep flipping things back on you, I hope you take a deeper look when I do. Being sensitive is not always a good thing, BF. But part of that is my "nature", whatcha gonna do? As for taking a deeper look at your responses, I do anyways just don't always get that across in the posts. "Flip" away.
