Well I like the swedish, in particular those 6' plus, blonde haired, blue eyed goddeses. Or was that Iceland... of course I also like the dark haired, doe eyed girls in Ibiza. Wait am I coming off as a player???? (never been any of these places actually just some inside jokes about height and hair color around here.)
seriously Thanks for your input. I agreed with some things and enjoyed some things you said.
People make mistakes and no one is perfect. I see you seeking perfection in others at the same level that you seek it in yourself without understanding that a large portion of love is about accepting the differences and relishing them.
I agree with the accepting, and relishing. I relished them. I saw how we were yin and yang. I have oftern talked about accepting here. LYNILWY happens to everyone eventually. The only way to overcome it is with changing our perceptions and/or working on our spouses needs. That is all we have control over, well that and actions.
Which bring me to x she did neither.
I see you as a fairly selfish, narcisstic person. Harsh? Maybe, but the "if you want to play with someone elses toys I'm taking mine home" and running away mentality doesn't sound much like a grown up.
well your the second to call me narcisstic, its not uncommon given my projected personality coming from men though, but if Cobra still feels this way I may check it out further. I just dont feel it though.
As for selfish, x was the one who called herself selfish repeatedly during/after affair. Called me things, but she never called me selfish. So I am going to have to differ. I am a giver, but if you give to much in the wrong was as a man, women lose respect and attraction.
some other differs, never ran away, if I cut her off during affair that is my perogitive, read marriagebuilders. See my previous post for reasons.
People make mistakes. Sometimes, really, really bad ones. Grown ups are able to accept that and move towards positive solutions This goes both ways dontcha think? and as for affair do you recommend I turn the cheek 77 times also? I made really bad ones. said so. got the boot anyways.
front of bravado ?? I was in a lot of pain. sometimes a wave will still hit me.
Forgiveness means that you are willing to work through the difficulty on her terms as well as your own
No it doesnt. Definition-- to excuse or pardon wrongdoing or one who is guilty of wrongdoing. Forgiveness is actually something you do internally to grant yourself peace more so then for others. I dont really have the ability to pardon anyone other then things done towards me.
attempts at connection are spurned because she doesn't do it just your way. not just my way. the way it is suggested in countless books on the subject. books we covered together during our attempted reconcil. She knows. as for last feeble attempt it came 2 days after filing for D.
As I say to the everyone ignore the words, which there were none in reality, look at the actions. I am not going to make a second go of some late night hot sweat, or emotional fall out after some song, or photograph jars a memory. That is not a decision.
Pride has it's uses, but it also limits the your ability to share with others and for them to share with you yes pride.... said much about it in my sitch already. Mein ego, and heir shame.
Your lack of ability to reconcile your differences doesn't bode well for future relationships I think you meant to say OUR not YOUR. Our as in me and hers. Do I come off as a conflict avoider? LOL.
Thanks for dropping in, hope that didnt rattle the shields to bad. I took no offense to your post because you directed it at me, it was not inciteful, you were not attempting to get a neg reaction simply for attention from others. You were straight, said how you felt, with no double speak. How can I be offended by that? I agree with most everything you said about R dynamics, but affairs get white washed for a variety of reasons, to much so IMO. That is not going to sit well with those that have engaged in a affair, or are chasing there WAS out of insecurity/neediness.
