Stop calling my naive. you just had to get that in their one more time.
LFL,
BUT your aloofness, jealousy, and macho bs will get in the way everytime. You didn't fight for her, bf.
I dont have jealousy, pretty much at ever. I did when A started, but those emotions are there for a reason.
Aloofness? Do you think I am so attractive, attraction would last over a 8 year R that my x and I would have a great sex life with no EC? WOW, thanks. I am being ridiculous to prove a point. I was not aloof, untill I detached.
I dont consider myself aloof even on this BB. I do have my ideas, and am indifferent to the 'tests' that result here by both men and women as a result of acting out these ideas at the same time. It just reproves them. That isnt aloof thats confidance.
Macho BS? I dont know one time I have BS'ed here.
However, what have you really learned from this experience that will make you more successful in the next R/M, especially if you end up having children with the next one? Excellent question. Do not let OM live with me.
Not quite sure what to do when I face another insecurity. Women want EC, but are unattracted by insecurity. kind of a conundrum. I am a man so do need cave during low times.
You failed the test. It was a brutal test but you were not up for the challenge
Adultery is not a test. Affair is not a test. They are dissolution of marriage contract. EVERY civilization and religion agrees with this. Many of them quite vociferously. our societys acceptance and tolerance of this behavior says loads. Choosing to continue on in rift R is offended spouses choice, and often driven by need, instead of choice. Attempting to do so and forgivness is positive and healthy if both parties do their part in working at it. lay off the macho stuff a touch, open yourself up to your emotions, even the horrible ones, stop comparing yourself to others (and don't tell me you don't because I know that you do), work on the self-esteem issues (yes, I mean that), be proud of who you are but not overly cocky, admit your faults and mistakes (especially to the woman in your life).
To validate you. no, yes, maybe( how else can I self improve?), I dont currently have any, I am, and I do. Thanks for that.
oh yeah You didn't fight for her, bf if a male has value to his SO, he doesnt need to 'fight' for her. A woman seeking this is insecure and getting something from trying to emotionally juice him in this way. Short term it is very effective on most people,(which is why I am not dating untill after POP.) but long term very acidic to the R/M. She is not struggling against her tendancies or holding up her side of the marital 'bargain', vows. Some people try to work on themselves, others do 'whatever it takes, or works'.
Chrissy and LFL, how convienant that its pumpkin season, and there are so many ways to put pumpkin in a sentence right now. LOL.
more to LFL,
the LFL/BF love affair will never come to fruition I know this is joking. I can handle some of this activity, because it is a demonstration of being confidant, and humorous. Too much makes me very uneasy. It will cause me to disappear or stop replying to interactions with a married individual if it happens to much or seems inappropriate to me. Thanks for the validation, you have the potential to be fine wine also.
onwards and upwards
I dont see how I have come off as a 'player' anywhere on this BB. I havent heard that from anywhere else. My x did not think I was a player, and a few of my associates are most definitely, she didnt like it. I can see some similarities with me and Karens/H, I didnt attend to her insecurities (different kinds), thought they were hers to deal with. My x was very low maintenace that way also. Untill she wasnt.
As for being attracted to strong women, that doesnt mean they are dominant. If the man is strong and she trusts him, she will stop her testing. Some women choose to stop or fight this tendancy to do their part in having a healthy R.
Thank you for confirming my comments to Cobra. you admit that women don't like it, don't trust it, etc yet also state too bad, that's how I am so live with it. Hmmm. That spells trouble
No I didnt state 'too bad'. You misinterpret. I said if you keep up being strong long enough for them to trust that it is real, the testing will die down, females will trust, respect, become attracted, feel safe, etc. If you pass the tests of being strong. Which is only part of being attractive.
IF they never trust you, the strength for whatever reason (previous abuse, entrenched behavior), if you waffle back and forth if you have body language that is counter to your words,if your actions are counter (filing for divorce while claiming to not want one for example), it will stay amped up to a unpleasant level for the man and she will never have respect or attraction. Do not attribute negative connotations to my ideas. I do care,(which you claim to know) I do try to do the right thing. Saying it doesnt make it so, but I feel I have tried to demonstrate it here.
Can't you just be more macho-sincere instead of macho-cocky? I am actully Cocky- sincere. and Humerously- macho. get it right. (You like it stop trying to kill it. next test please. Guys do not say the latter to your W.)
what I wrote was really thread litter you wouldn't have even commented at all. It was, but I dont mind having some fun too. Not harsh, your just a sensitive girl . Thats a good thing. Let your H see it. I am going to keep flipping things back on you, I hope you take a deeper look when I do.
