Stigmata

He said his x detached and took off to another state to be on her own/self-sufficient etc. for the first time ever in her life

ughh my written communication is worse then I thought and I already write too long posts.

NO.
She currently lives with her parents. Yes she is a only girl, was fairly spoiled up untill 10 y.o.

After A started, and 6 weeks went by with her lack of reason, for it, she started saying things like she had been thinking of D anyways. my point was WE just moved 2000 miles away from her home, basically everything she knew. She would do that? If considering D? Leave safety, security, support network? career, friends, etc? (which is one of the main reasons I 'took my toys' and 'ran away' so that she would have her family for support, regardless of the outcome for us. There was a multitude of reasons but this was the primary. I wasnt sure I even wanted her anymore. I did want her to be safe though.) It was so preposterous. We had planned and worked and strived for culmination of moving, family, careers, educations, etc. The first few months we were there she/we were so stoked about everything, we were practically on a second honeymoon, emotionally speaking.


We're morally self-righteous to an extreme and finding it nearly impossible to let our x's EA/PAs with OM go

ahhh, the EA was more hurtful then a one nighter would have been. most women arent like that though, for good reason. But the EA, with PA, after my attempts to correct things, yes, not acceptable. I let her know as much prior to PA. Her choice. EA already started, takes time to go thru and get over, my fault or not I took the blame. PA is a distinct choice, IMO, especially after moving to another state.


Moral self righteousness.... mmmmm not so much. Over PA ok probably. unfathomably hurt by betrayal. pain and lack of attention to providance of proper pain relief during reconcil, caused resentment. reinstituted cause of massive pain and escalation of same said pain led to intolerance of contact with pain causant.


Other things, for you Stig. I am not a true Extrovert. I have created that, work at it. It taxes me, so I am a true Intro, though not a pointy head.
I am also an NP,but Whether I am a T or a F has gotten lost between biofeed back studies and practice and exercising control, attempting to judiciate limbic system and even R complex to a certain extent. Most likely I was a F, and environmental situation and my backlash as a youth, caused first desire for change.

INTP huh, who would have guessed... probably feeling pretty EFFEY right now though. There is no rougher road to be driven down, IME, and according to the 'experts'. Do what it takes and GAL healthly. Monitor amount of drinking especially drinking done alone. None done alone is better, IMO.

Have you talked to anyone about taking antidepressants. They will smooth out the highs and lows and enable you to maintain, better boundary control and appearance of stability. I am no doc, but vitamin P (prosac) doesnt take a lot of hootenany to discontinue taking .... Have your read marriagebuilders.com. Dr. Harley does a good job of telling you how to take care of yourself, and what you can do to improve things. Doesnt talk much about what not to do, or what not to deal with or allow, which is significantly more important IMO on acheiving a quick resolution. I find his style to be appropriate to getting men to understand things, and working with women who are highly logical and motivated. Not so much for emotional types. Michelles style is better for that.