To Og_Lou,
My new favorite poster
Well that was nice to read. I can totally understand your "balancing point" comment. And for the record, I don't think you are macho-cocky. Who would say that? You seem very sincere to me.
Interesting point on the "too serious" personality. I am the exact opposite so I am always on high alert for the "serious" ones on the board. Not that they are wrong at all, just different than my approach. I think I am sometimes serious but more often than not looking to find a little fun and stimulating conversation.
I can name off three or four (both men and women) who I probably rub the wrong way at times but it goes both ways. I am in full awareness of it and I work on not judging. Hope they do the same.
I struggle with my own "balancing act" all the time. I am naturally very flirty but I like to think of myself as flirty-sincere rather than flirty-cocky. Lol.
And yes, there are good things coming from BF's personality. No doubt about that. Just wanted to throw in the benefit of a slightly watered-down version. Although maybe a watered-down BF would just not be "him". Hmmm.
So the question remains, can/should a person change their very personality to meet the needs of a R/M? If you stay away from Freudian pessimism that we are locked into our personalities from an early age, we can certainly find many theories in which it is believed people can and do change their personalities to meet the needs of others as well as themselves in the long term. Is it simply a matter of wanting to change? Well that is the first step for sure. Thus all the banging our heads against the wall with LD S and such. Ultimately, if they don't change we have to, right? Or what is the end result? An unhappy M? Some would say no. Just a change in perception, attitude, etc.
It is all in our control in the end, which is pretty comforting. At this point in my own M with H back in the picture, I struggle with my perceptions and attitudes more than anything. I don't want to hijack BF's thread but let's just say the "I love you's" are not flying fast and furious in the LFL household. Did have hot sex last night though So as I was saying on Chrome's thread, the sex can still be there even if the EC is lacking. That is of course if BOTH people are willing. When one person is totally against any sexual act, well..