I don't post much, and not on other threads, but you wanted a male opinion so I thought I'd give you mine.
From what I've read of your posts I see you as a fairly selfish, narcisstic person. Harsh? Maybe, but the "if you want to play with someone elses toys I'm taking mine home" and running away mentality doesn't sound much like a grown up.
Your wife has been conflicted about her decisions and you have stonewalled her. Basically you've given her ultimatums like "my way or the highway" which don't allow for any type of grown up conversation or reconcilliation.
Her, to you, feable attempts at connection are spurned because she doesn't do it just your way. I see you measuring her based on your own internal values and it doesn't seem that you take her needs into account.
People make mistakes. Sometimes, really, really bad ones. Grown ups are able to accept that and move towards positive solutions.
Pride. I see a lot of pride in your responses. Pride has it's uses, but it also limits the your ability to share with others and for them to share with you.
You put up a front of bravado, but you still haven't gotten over her error. I see no forgiveness. Forgiveness means that you are willing to work through the difficulty on her terms as well as your own. What are her terms? Have you asked? What does she want/need to fill fulfilled in your relationship.
That's about it. I think you did a variation of kicking her out and running away and now that she has made a few attempts at reaching out to you I hear you saying to yourself "too little, too late". Your lack of ability to reconcile your differences doesn't bode well for future relationships. People make mistakes and no one is perfect. I see you seeking perfection in others at the same level that you seek it in yourself without understanding that a large portion of love is about accepting the differences and relishing them.
