Attitude leads to Behaivior, Behaivior Leads to At

[Stigmata]

Chrome: I would like to just personally say that I am SOOOO attracted to BF that it would never end. I don't know what you gals are biatching about. He's the best.
Stigmata: I guess what I'm trying to say is... BF, if you get that D will you marry me? LOL. At least YOU can look past all the sparkly diamonds in my ring offer for a much deeper significance it would seem.

Ok, so I could analyze this phenomenon all night. What is it about bf that makes MEN swoon? Or more specifically, Stigmata and Chromosphere. Hmmmm. Both very intelligent witty men yet searching for something bf can offer clearly. And likewise, I think bf swoons over them but being bf would never come out and verbalize it like they have. Interesting. Me thinks I'm on to something here....the composite of the ideal man. Could do a whole Frankenstein thing and see what "creation" I come up with. If only....

--Ah, yes, I somehow KNEW this was coming for us, Chromo...methinks it's more the impish boys within us urging on our school chum BF's repartee with the ladies on the board...many of whom I could find myself dropping to the chaise in a swoon over with my gaggle of attending maidens furiously fanning me off.

Why is this? Well, I find anyone who has it within themselves to put such hard work into their Rs (to the point of writing posts for months/years even) to be very admirable/attractive. Ms and Fs alike. I also find Cobra attractive, for instance. The guy is trying like hell to understand himself, his W, and keeping his family together. Very admirable. I can't even say I have the wherewithal to make 100 posts at this point before I am drawn away to something else in my life. My x basically shut down, mulled our R over silently in her head, then jettisoned my azz. What's it like to be actually INVOLVED in the R discussion?

As for Blackfoot observations. As I said, I would feel fraudulent making educated guesses on his qualities/flaws with so little information. For now, however, I will pull 2 distinct things from his more recent posts and comment...

1. He has stated his personality is rem. of 'Tristen' from Legends of the Fall...and this is from others who know him a hell of a lot better than I/we do.

2. He said his x detached and took off to another state to be on her own/self-sufficient etc. for the first time ever in her life.

The 9 year M would mean to me that she has spent most of her carefree 20s in an M.

Essentially, what I am only roughly hypothesizing here is that perhaps BF's x spent most of her time in the M finding herself staring at this type of extroverted 'Tristen' personality. Can see how it would be easy to do...losing yourself bit by bit each year in your "Rejoice in Thy youth" 20s.

Maybe she snapped awake, so to speak, and projected/mirrored BF's own charisma towards the OM...after all we're attracted to those qualities in others we'd like to see in ourselves. Ah, now do you see where I'm going with this? (My and Chromo's attraction, as you state, to BF)

I think BF's x may have realized she was heading to her 30s, her biological egg timer went off, and she felt she needed to find herself, her independence away from BF to see what it was like and to not have any regrets she missed out on exploring her selfish wants.

As I said, I take this with a grain of salt myself as I don't have enough info on the matter. But I do think when BF's x approaches 40 she will realize, in BF terminology, she needs to have "her head locked down."Now, as to your opinings on what makes BF attractive to me? From what I remember, I am an Myers-Briggs INTP. BF is obviously an extrovert. But we're sort of 2 sides to the same coin. I could never sit at a ship dock and serenade ladies coming off the ships. No way. Wish I could. Can't. And I doubt Chromo could either. He's out there in the world mixing with crowds and adventurous activities etc. it seems. I'm sitting back in the corner...observing; trying not to draw attention to myself.

So there you have it; part of it anyway. I also ID with his wit and his morality/integrity/honesty in an R. I ID with this because I think that's where I have failed and where he has failed in the R. We're morally self-righteous to an extreme and finding it nearly impossible to let our x's EA/PAs with OM go. "How in the hell could you betray the sanctity of "us" like this?!" Maybe it's the swan 'mate-for life' mentality that seems to be utterly devoid in the world today. I don't know.

OK, jeez, I need to get some work done. I may have further observations if/when I notice them in you, BF, since you asked for some male perspectives. Rest assured, I don't feel any sycophantism towards you,if it may appear to others that way, so I'm not afraid of stinging you with unpleasant observations if that's if/when they come across my scope.

-Stigmata-

PS - Knock it off with the chocolate, ladies. I'm alone here and still in love with a woman who could care less about me in the same way. Grr, frustration, grrr (now swooning over Chromo, heh).