Ooooh! Count me in, too!!! Strong men make me HOTT!
Hairdog, I here ya! he he "Cryptic analysis" is a perfect way to put bf's approach. I think I've told him as much already. He's sort of all over the map in what he writes. Like a stream of consciousness. Never thought I'd see a Triumph the Insult Comic Dog reference in my life much less on these boards, Lol!
So who are these "minions" that bf has? I must have missed that thread Oooohhhh...how did I miss that juicy thread. I even get a shout out from bf in there Well, TSinA, that was quite an attack I'd say. Why so angry? Well, the psychoanalyst in me sees clear projection of your feelings for OM onto BF. Both macho guys, both a threat to your R in a sense. Career military man? hmm.. Quite manly, aggressive, assertive, dominant. And thus, very attractive. Sounds like he had lots of other qualitites that were not so attractive however, admitting to using your W and all. Not nice! So, ok, the A happened and you obviously want to work things out. You also still have lots of bitterness and resentment. Who could blame you. My H left me out of the blue a year ago last October. He's back now. Still lots of garbage to wade through though. That's life. You make the best with what you've got or move on. It ain't rocket science. A plus B doesn't always equal C. Too many emotional complications, and such. The heart and the mind are usually on different pages kwim? Ok, I'm turning into bf with this stream of consciousness. I am sorry for what you are going through. I can get bitter just as easy as the next person so I understand your attitude. If you don't laugh you cry and all that stuff. Keep posting and maybe you can at least gain some support if not a changes you want to be seeing in the M. So IS your W just as committed as you to the M? Do you have doubts about her still seeing/talking to OM?
Then I must be one of the "minions" because I understood what BF was getting at and what he was trying to say. Just because I (a woman) can understand his perspective/point...that makes me a minion?! No, that makes me someone who understood his meaning. Someone who has her own intelligent opinions and can voice her reasoning behind those opinions. Don't assume that just because someone agrees with another's POV that you don't agree with that we are following their words blindly....I can confidently say the majority of us on here would never do that. I know I wouldn't.
Would you call me (or others) a "minion" if we agreed with your perspective? I have to tell you I found your post insulting, since when does name calling get anyone anywhere? I understood BF's "submission" perspective, and if you read my reply to him on that subject I explained why I understood it and gave an example of how a woman could be submissive and not be a doormat at the same time. You might go back and read that response to understand how a woman being a tad big submissive can change the dynamics in a good way in the R.
BF wasn't saying women should lay down and let a man run over them....but I get the feeling that the word "submission" to you conjures up something like that. "Submissive" to you might even mean someone who is easily taken advantage of. There are sooooo many different ways a person (man/woman) can be submissive in an R and it's not a bad/harmful thing to either person.
As for your W's A, I'm sorry she did that to you...and to your R. It's a painful thing to try to overcome. BUT, and I'm not trying to rub salt in the wound here...she went after an "alpha male" type of person, someone who would be dominant, someone who would expect her to be....submissive to an extent. I'm glad to hear that the A has been discontinued and that you both have been in counseling, that's going to be quite helpful.
Any how he feels that I along with HP and others because we have shown some agreement in what BF said are some brain washed little puppies drooling at BF's feet.
------------------------------------------------------ MR. CARTER: Governor Reagan, again, typically is against such a proposal.
MR. SMITH: Governor?
MR. REAGAN: There you go again.
---------------------------------------------------- There you go again, putting words in my mouth. What I said, and still believe, was that BF is an oriental pasha sitting on soft cushions surrounded by adoring minions who jump to do his bidding, or at least defend him. See, there's a difference.
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.
Even this last description STILL makes it sound as though we jump to his defense because we couldn't possibly have a similar opinion of our own. No, I know you didn't SAY that....but that is the implication that comes across in what you wrote.
Jump to do someone's bidding!? I don't think so!
Are you threatened because he has had some success reaching some of the posters on this board? Most likely the success he's had is because he says things people simply don't tend to say, because he doesn't really care if we agree or disagree. He has an opinion so he states it....just as you are welcome to do.
Oh...and instead of referring to me as a "Minion" (not that you were referring specifically to me) from now on...I'd like to be called "GEL - Redheaded Ninja!"
Chrissy Just caught onto that thread. Good stuff. Posted a little analysis to TSinA just before this one. I think BF has some wonderful qualities that the men and women can learn a lot from for sure. He obviously appeals to both sexes. I can see how some men would find him threatening. Haven't heard from any women who find him a turn-off. Or if they don't like what he says, they may not be able to deny that he has a raw sexual attractiveness. Goes back to biology and evolution. We fight our natural tendencies to be dominant (the male) and submissive (the female). Women do this all the time. Want to be the strong powerful woman so they find a submissive male (recipe for trouble). Totally reverses the natural order. Likewise, just as BF did, he found a dominant female that clashed with his dominant male. Also recipe for trouble. Constant clashes over who is more dominant. So let's see, then you have the submissive-submissive couple. Not as much a recipe for disaster in the chaotic sense but I think these couples tend to be boring, stagnant, certainly not having a rip roaring sex life, and just sort of go through life ho hum. Yuck. I'd rather have a litte chaos personally. Self-fulfilling prophecy, anyone? i have issues
Do you have doubts about her still seeing/talking to OM?
No, I am convinced she is not talking with him (it was mostly long distance phone sex, with 3-4 personal meetings). Although, if she is, that would be a dealbreaker for me, and I hope she knows that. I think she does. More of the situation was that the OM's wife was very unattractive (I've never met her; just third-party description), but a stable presence. The OM describes my WS as recreational sex (not his words), someone to have fantasy sex, with no long-term consequences, that is until his wife found out. Then that was that. I found out all of this ex post facto from the wife.
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.
