Then I must be one of the "minions" because I understood what BF was getting at and what he was trying to say. Just because I (a woman) can understand his perspective/point...that makes me a minion?! No, that makes me someone who understood his meaning. Someone who has her own intelligent opinions and can voice her reasoning behind those opinions. Don't assume that just because someone agrees with another's POV that you don't agree with that we are following their words blindly....I can confidently say the majority of us on here would never do that. I know I wouldn't.
Would you call me (or others) a "minion" if we agreed with your perspective? I have to tell you I found your post insulting, since when does name calling get anyone anywhere? I understood BF's "submission" perspective, and if you read my reply to him on that subject I explained why I understood it and gave an example of how a woman could be submissive and not be a doormat at the same time. You might go back and read that response to understand how a woman being a tad big submissive can change the dynamics in a good way in the R.
BF wasn't saying women should lay down and let a man run over them....but I get the feeling that the word "submission" to you conjures up something like that. "Submissive" to you might even mean someone who is easily taken advantage of. There are sooooo many different ways a person (man/woman) can be submissive in an R and it's not a bad/harmful thing to either person.
As for your W's A, I'm sorry she did that to you...and to your R. It's a painful thing to try to overcome. BUT, and I'm not trying to rub salt in the wound here...she went after an "alpha male" type of person, someone who would be dominant, someone who would expect her to be....submissive to an extent. I'm glad to hear that the A has been discontinued and that you both have been in counseling, that's going to be quite helpful.
