"Blackfoot is trying to explain why they should be happy with the men they have because there are a lot of crappy husbands out there. I think he's trying to explain to them that if they lay off pushing their hubbies for more sex, and play a more submissive (not doormat) role, the men will feel more "manly" and start schtupping (sp) their wives with a bit more gusto. "
So if it's not stepping on too many emotional mindfields, what was the OM like? Was he macho? I
Oh, yes. He was a career military who was looking for "sex he didn't have to pay for on the Internet" (his terms). Most of it was phone sex, but there were a few live encounters. By working with a very good MC, my wife has said that she gets depressed, was probably looking for mystery and danger in the affair. I have told her and hope have made clear to her that if she is in another affair, then our marriage would be over. So far, I think we are staying true to each other, at least, I know I am. I can only hope that what the therapists and writers on infidelity (Glasser, Spring and others) and our minister say is true. That the discovery of an affair can make a marriage stronger if both partners are committed to the marriage and are committed to absolute honesty in the marriage.
But, yeh, macho, no, that's the last word, I think, that anyone would use to describe me, at least in my life outside of this board.
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.
