lay off the macho stuff a touch, open yourself up to your emotions, even the horrible ones, stop comparing yourself to others (and don't tell me you don't because I know that you do),
Well, I am going from wonder to wonder. First, BF replies and says we (he and I) agree on two things. Then, an actual female calls BF on his macho BS. Which is what I have done, but didn't get much of response, except from BF's "minions", who defended him with "what BF really means is . . . ." Whatever. So, "Cockiness can be attractive to a woman in the short term but long term, eh, not so much. It would wear on me after a while (can't speak for all women of course). I suspect my WS doesn't find cockiness as one of my qualities; no, I know she doesn't. She says I am shy, that she had to take the initiative to get me interested. I heard from one of her big-mouthed friends that she was almost frustrated at first by my hesitancy, even though she said to her friend "I think he likes me." All this, of course, before the affair. But, I think WS still sees me as not macho, and I am guessing that is what keeps us together. One must learn to keep silent sometimes. A favorite snatch from a Raymond Chandler novel:
Woman being interrogated by Marlowe and Police Detective: "I like this man (PD), he knows how to keep his mouth shut." (glaring at Marlowe).
Marlowe: "He's had lots of practice, m'am, he's married."
You guys wouldn't know me as diplomatic or choosing my words, since I am "verbally abusive", attack people on the board instead of supporting them, and am a Christ-killer. But this is cyberspace and our marriage is life. Why am I going on like this, since I know no one will respond anyway?
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.
