Attitude leads to Behaivior, Behaivior Leads to At

[Stigmata]

"Ill respond to you when if others post. Ill wait till "tomorrow night. I am hoping for a male opinion.

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Ah, yes. Very good, Blackfoot. I see you are now invoking Johari's Window and I commend you for that.

Here's a quick refresher on JW for you guys/gals:

Picture a window with 4 frames. The first frame is the open frame or "arena." The next frame is the "Blind Spot." The 3rd frame is the Hidden frame or "Facade." and the 4th and final frame is the "Unknown."

Blackie's entreaty here is to help him to reduce his "Blind Frame." in favor of enlarging his "Arena" or open frame.

I haven't yet profiled you BF as to do that justice (for myself anyway) I would need to read all of your 300+ posts to give you a somewhat useful observation.

Uh, yeah. Well, that would take up too much of Riker's Island computer time as well as my own before lockdown. .

(going back to an image I have from an earlier post of yours saying you could be some homeless guy using the library's computer for all anyone knew...chuckle-chuckle)

Anyhoo. Your posts on the MB have been enlarging your open Arena as you've spilled your blood--as we all have. The arena is what you and the rest of us know about your psyche...or at least your cyber moniker's psyche. And I appreciate your openness and candor; it's helped me in my sitch I think anyway.

You now want to reduce your 2nd frame, or "Blind Spot" frame, where you cannot see how others observe you. The more comments you get here the smaller this frame becomes and the larger your Arena becomes. Kudos on your effort of self-awareness.

Now, the 3rd frame, the hidden or "Facade" is the trickiest for me and others as it involves truths you know about yourself and your sitch yet we cannot be aware of/see. The anonymity and the medium (MB) themselves hinder our unadulterated/untainted glimpse within your psyche...not that that would be possible anyway. However, your apparent integrity, candor and honesty about you and your sitch have reduced this as well--enlarging the Arena once again.

Finally, (and you thought this would never end) since you are doing well to shrink your 2nd and 3rd frames, your 1st Arena frame is large enough to draw in the 4th frame, aka, "The Unknown" or things neither you nor we know about your psychological makeup. The answers you have received here/will receive in this thread helps you to chip away at this toughest of all frames and deposit those chips into your open Arena. It's a mutual discovery for all of us.

Will you ever achieve complete self-awareness? One (Arena) window pane? Probably not in this lifetime...but many monks have died trying.

So I hope you continue to offer insights on this MB while learning about yourself, BF. It's commendable and I wonder why in the hell my x can't even put forth the tiniest fraction of an effort like this before she considers "bringin' on the pain" to someone like me. And I know pretty much ALL of us here wonder the same; why the hell our Hs, Ws, SOs don't question their own behaviors?

I guess what I'm trying to say is... BF, if you get that D will you marry me? LOL. At least YOU can look past all the sparkly diamonds in my ring offer for a much deeper significance it would seem.

-Stigmata-