I never said so just want to say Thanks for your thoughts.
I am currently doing Tai Chi sunday mornings to help work the kinks out of my shoulder from accident. I actually think it is a great thing to try out things that are against your personality, to balance it out and give a different perspective. I ws just commenting on how we tend to gravitate towards what we are or like.
I agree with your coming to terms on the R, accepting our culpability and understanding the former SO did as well as they could too. I really dont think of my time with her as a waste. While I think there is a good chance I could hold it together, I just dont have the desire to do so. I tell myself that voice is just me being egotistical. I have some insecurity about OM, that will cause it to fail. yes fear but not fear without prior cause. So instead of putting us thru that again I am just clapping my hands so to speak and changing dealers, or tables rather. I guess I am the dealer.
I am not mad, only when she seems to want to come back. We dont fight when we talk though, this last time there was too much WOA, or ego-stroking as I call it coming from her. Seems like I should be happy. But its just the opposite. So the days tick by and I let her actions lead us to the judicial destination. Not very manly. Oh well I have other aspects of my life to work on, becuase of our seperation.
Mourn your M. Identify your mistakes. Be brutally honest with yourself when you are ready. Ultimately, forgive yourself and her. It takes time but the peace in the end is worth it.
Yes. Thank you. I have no problem beign brutal with myself. peace I crave peace. no more struggling for either of us.
