As are prob. the toughest thing for any partner to get past. ....Ignorance is bliss, as they say.


I prefer to know the truth and deal with it as best I can or can't.

I pushed her to go for sales as that's where the money is...

ahh thats the best part, knowing how much you did to help them become the person OP is having fun and reaping the rewards with.

purging---

So I thought I was going to get my piece of paper tomorrow. No such luck. She didnt file as she said nearly 6 months ago (again), but she did 6 days ago. Got served today. So thats 2 times now she has F'ed around with the paperwork, short version she didnt do it correctly first time, wouldnt have gone thru,(intentional? claims not but her job is massive paperwork requiring tremendous attention to detail, and she is very good at it.) found out after we were back together. x is unwilling to give me what she claims to want (and truth be said is showing with her actions) so I can move on with my conscience clear. Let me go she has repeatedly said. Um I did how much clearer can I be than not ever contacting you for 5 months.... Finish what you started please.

Recieved voicemail tonight telling me when courtdate is; which when she last informed me of proceedings would not happen, it was to be paper only. We were both pleased with this it seemed at the time. At least she hopes I am doing well. Thats nice.

HD do I have to show up? I have already wasted 9 years, I cant imaging wasting a whole days revenue for this.

Its interesting to watch her attempts 'to get my goat' escalating. So according to the script. It just increases my lack of respect for her. As does continued contact with me, since she has OM and OR. Have some dignity, show OM some respect, for that matter have some for yourself.
I expected no contact with OM when we reconciled, why would I not apply this same rule since you two are acting as H and W with your conjugal visit(s)?
I respect selfishness. I respect if someone is unable or ceases to meet all your 'needs' and you choose to leave. That can be accomplished with integrity and honor. Why the need for vindictive, vengeful, acts of seeming retribution?


I expect next she will be cleaning out joint savings and my checking which has her name on it still since I placed it there before moving out of other state. I have mentioned before she destroys things around her when hurt/angry. I remember I did for the first time in years when she recontacted OM the first time. I still feel chagrin over my lack of control.

It was interesting to me that Cobra takes TKD as I have found generally people are drawn to what is like them.
I was heavily into Aikido. its very circular, based on defense instead of offense, and basically uses the attackers own energy to destroy them. In other words they wouldnt get hurt if they werent trying to cause hurt.
It appears to be reactive, but actually requires knowing OP moves before they do.

I find this whole thing so sad and wasteful. Its been 17 months now. Think how much can be accomplished in that time when energy is put towards positive goals. I think of how much I have accomplished despite all the crap.

"You do not truly know someone, untill you have fought them."


Quote:


I didn't mean to suggest that any of these things are set up by either party as tests. It's just that they often turn out to have been tests after the fact.

That's also not to say that people don't sometimes create situations AS tests.

My point was that the ordinary bumps and ridges of everyday life naturally create events that give each partner the challenge and opportunity to react graciously and compassionately like a grownup or withdraw in a pout like a cranky toddler.




Lil I am absolutely riveted by this post. You are a fantastic conveyor of thoughts.

I am not ignoring the implications, by stating that I am ignoring what you may be implying.

There is a muffled, tinny sounding voice in my head when I read this. I think I need to sound proof the room I placed it in.