That is pretty much how I see things as well. I am a very strong, confident woman. I lead 60 people at work, do all of our fundraising and am fiscally responsible for about 2 million dollars per year. I raised my two older children without benefit of a spouse who was capable of being a real parnter (ex-H). I can use tools, I know the basics of how my car works, can mow the lawn etc...
My current H ALWAYS mows the lawn, does all the car stuff and uses the tools far more frequently than I do. He prefers it. It makes him feel needed. He also does laundry and frequently makes dinner. I do most of the cleaning and most of the food shopping and probably 2/3 of the cooking. I also take out the trash and do other parts of the yard work. We share money management. We basically do what needs doing. We are partners in life.
Where is he dominant and me submissive? In areas that he sees as having meaning to him as a man. He uses language I don't care for sometimes. I don't correct him. He yells and carries on when angry and frustrated (not at people but in general)- if it isn't hurtful to someone who cares? He often seeks my opinion on large financial matters and I frequently say, "Whatever honey, I trust your judgement." He leads our family spiritually. He says grace at dinner almost every night.
I like that he is strong man. I like that he is masculine. I don't always love every way that his masculinity is expressed but if it doensn't hurt anyone then why should I try to correct and control him (I'm kinda thinking of stuff here like hairdog's guy type humor. I would laugh or groan rather than giving a 5 minute lecture on feminist rhetoric). That is how the dominant/submissive role plays out in my M.
It would be even better if H extended that role to the bedroom. I think some games with a few silk scarves would be great fun. I would be thrilled to be on either side of that kind of game. I mentioned it once. Too weird for H I think. If I am too submissive in the bedroom then I don't get his dominance - I get nothing.
