Attitude leads to Behaivior, Behaivior Leads to At

[TSinAtlanta]

OK, BF, sorry about the non-response on my part. I thought I had looked through the posts for all responses but obviously I did not see yours. Probably because of the jumping around and generally wrecking havoc with the BB's organization. Anyway, don't chalk it up to inattention on my part or not caring enough to post in reply. I have gotten little enough response as it is, so I would respond to any posts directed at me.

Yes, on the surface our marriage is still alive. It was still alive before the bomb dropped 7 months ago, but, as I said, I was fat, dumb and happy. Now we are working on fixing (?) what wasn't working. Our MC seems to know what he is doing. He has identified some depression in my WAS that she was not completely aware of. She has opened up in our sessions and, in fact, in our first session, said that she wanted to work to repair the hurt that she had caused me. So that is hopeful. What is also hopeful is what our pastor said to me when I disclosed the affair to him, "You would be surprised at how many, what I consider good marriages have had to deal with affairs." Now after 7 months I had thought we were back on the right track, my WAS and I, but obviously there is still anger in me for how she lied to me (omission or commission, who cares?). I think that accounts for the extremity (?) of some of my reactions to postings on this board. I do not enjoy being lied to or being bullshat. So when I think someone is not being straight with me, when a women says she wants to be loved in a respectful relationship and then leaps to defend you in your dominance/submissive syndrome, that chaps my b*tt.

I'm not sure I understand the reference to Jesus Christ. I was just using Christkiller as an example of the extremity of the reactions, but maybe another term will serve as well. Here is a quote from Camus about that, "La verite, c'est le seul Christ que nous meritions." You can use your HS French to translate that, if it matters to you. I guess I am a christian, I sing in our chancel choir every Sunday, I recite the Nicene Creed every Sunday, so that makes me one, right? Anyway, I have enough troubles on Earth right now to worry about how I will be judged in the afterlife. If Heaven is populated by people like those on this BB, I guess I am going straight to hell. BTW, do know what the ATL Falcons and Billy Graham have in common? They can both get 70,000 people in the Georgia Dome to yell out, "Jesus Christ!"

I believe you are right about the anonymity; I would never disclose my identity here, that would destroy the safety of "letting it all hang out." But others like to link up. More power to them.

" I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle. I
just wish He didn't trust me so much."
- Mother Teresa