Ok, here we go

TSinA

When I first started posting here I had a quote by Plato in my sig line. It went, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

After you did not respond to my previous thread/post to you I went looking for you. Who is this guy TSinA.

My initial impression of you was here is a guy talking out of both sides of his mouth, and I assumed you were doing this because my post in GEL's thread is a controversial, UN P.C, antifeminist, topic.

Side-bar---> I found a short e-book online today, aimed at women, along these lines only articulated much better then I. No scary words like dominating or submitting. It suggested to women to behave exactly as Cobra said he would respond favorably too. Titled The Women Men Adore and Never Want to Leave. By Bob Grant L.P.C

So I made a reply that I considered reasonable, to someone who I perceived as attempting to take a shot at me.

No response. So I go looking to see why people on a different forum are calling you an incestual, Christ-killing, traitor. Imagine my surprise when I cant find any thread from you, but I do find choice parts of my post, along with rowdy inciteful comments from you in someone else’s thread encouraging others to come serve me my come-uppance for my disrespectful, denigrating attitude towards women.

I am glad I didn’t see that before making my original reply to you.

More waiting, because I did make some points in my post and was hoping you would at least react to a few of them so we could enter into the dialogue you suggested you wanted when asking me where my thread was, so as not to hijack GEL's.

Nothing, so I went and found your thread in Rebuilding.
There I found a post from Honeypot, a woman I respect greatly. I read it and understood what she was saying and trying to say. It changed my attitude towards you. (you can thank her later. ) I remembered my sig line, why I started posting here, and all the pain and confusion I had from my WAS, and I think I have a pretty good handle on Relationship dynamics. Emotions, those sneaky ba$^ard$.
Maybe I should write a book, like all the other Divorced counselors.

I don’t have the answers to Relationships, obviously, and I failed at meeting my wife’s needs, more so then you did as I am Divorced (tick tock soon), and you and your wife is still in the game together.

What I do try to do is talk about attraction and what women find attractive in a man. I know that many, many men don’t have this down. Lack of father, lack of dating experience, social conditioning, socialist education, etc.

Attraction is not a holy grail of Rs, by any means, but what I have come to realize over time is that as men by looking inside, fixing ourselves- generally speaking eliminating fears and insecurities, and not worrying -so much- about what others 'think' of us we are free to act unencumbered and let the man out, instead of acting like 'male persons' (stole that- thanks ARjnex) and women are strongly affected by it.

I also attempt to give women here a very unfiltered, honest, raw, male opinion; they get to be a fly on the wall so to speak. I have very little reservations about speaking my mind because I have no vested interest, no fear, no attachment to the outcome, of what their reactions may be. I’m anonymous, otherwise I would be scared poopless and trembling in my socks...... ummmm. no.

I believe they respect and at a minimum appreciate it. I know from personal experience that nearly all (the others must have been broken ) women I have engaged and acted this same way towards in person enjoyed it and found it attractive. There is no adoration going on here, it is insulting to these intelligent and experienced ladies to suggest that they would do so from knowing only a virtual person, with no actual knowledge of any details of me other then to know that I too had enough flaws to have a WAS. They know how hard they work at their R's and if my x is as amazing as I say she is, she must have tried very hard too. I could be a homeless person, hanging at the public library, waiting for rush hour to go collect 'donations'.

Well I have said a lot, and not really said anything yet.

I am willing to chat with you, if you have questions, if you would like me to explain why I believe what I do, etc.

I was dismissive (thank you ZB) of you in my other thread; the eye roll on my thread was especially unnecessary. I should not have done that. Your behavior was that of a Jackass though.

If you pull another stunt like the previous one, I will lay a serious verbal smack-down on you. It will not be in the same light tone that I now intend to come across with my partner Starsky.

I also poked fun at you in my other post, but I had reason for doing so, besides my own amusement. I was trying to get you to see how ridiculous it is to care about another’s comments towards you when the comments themselves are preposterous. (seriously dude christ-killer? Let me shake your hand and thank you because-- if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be able to be Saved and Redeemed. You though are going to burn in hell. *) You care because the comments hurt you and have struck at some insecurity. I saw it in your thread, and I see your wife actively trying to help you eliminate that insecurity.

As a man her perceived 'nagging', pushing, 'taking over our lives' actually amplifies our insecurity, because we don’t understand what the women need, and because our fear at failing in the insecure area makes us act incorrectly, almost always without fail.

I am posting in this forum, because I am lazy (thank you x), short on time, don’t wish to go bebopping about the board, and also because I know if I say something that is in error to you the strong willed, independently minded, marriage positive, vocal opinion having ladies that I already know on this forum will gladly hand me my head on a platter. You can be confidant of that too.

I am going to make a couple more observations, suggestions. Find a self esteem coach, or do some research on the web about it. I will go so far as to say maybe even in lieu of the MC that your W is resisting. It will dramatically help you at work as well as with your W. She IS trying to help you, but your focused on the wrong thing right now. You are afraid of your marriage falling apart if you don’t hover over it.

It already fell apart.

She seems to be there still, correct? Don’t worry about why right now. It is because you have more value to her then OM. This is a good thing. You need to be selfish right now and think of yourself, what is best for you, and how to take care of yourself (issues and fears). Ironically this is what she needs. If you do this (without shutting her out- don’t go extreme the other way) she will see it, be curious, wonder what is up, and very probably become open to trying MC again.

I am guessing you are probably in a SSM too.


So,
Talk to me.


* I believe that Jesus was a real person, and that his purpose in life was to die for mankind’s sins. So if my joke offended you, tough you’ll get over it. Ill get my turn to be judged, you don’t get to do it.