Hubby and I seperated a few months ago. Seperation didn't last long. He got sick, and needed surgery. Moved back in needing someone to take care of him through it. We haven't talked about the situation. In fact I really don't know where our marriage stands. I fel like we are still seperated. I dread the thought of even bringing this up. I am just really tired of being really tired.
In the last 3 months we have ML once. He is feeling better but yet makes no attempts. Well, I take that back a couple weeks ago we did make love. That was the once it happened. But it felt so strained for me. It is just like I have no desire for him anymore. I even feel my love fading. I am withdrawing from this relationship. So I feel I really don't think there is anything left. I was the only one fighting for this relationship as it was.
Another thing that happened is when we seperated I had two guys start really flirting with me. It feels so good to be desired and see that from the male species again. I haven't had an affair. But I almost feel like I could. I am just so lonely. I feel like falling in a mans arms and just getting lost. Maybe I will stop feeling the horrible things that taunt my mind everyday. The flirting has caused me to seriously look at things really close. To actually see how much I miss the attention from a man. And to think deeply about if I feel I could stay married to my husband and miss out on it forever.
I am just so tired of being relationship cop. I have just no desire in me at all. To talk to him or to ML to him.
