Guys I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring anyone else down with me. I honestly believe that if you still have hope in your sitch that you should not give up. Everyone is different and I pray that each of you end up with a different outcome than mine.
Right now I just want to cry. The thought of starting over again, moving, dating, letting XH go completely is getting to me. It's too much. And god only knows when it's going to happen. Part of me doesn't want to do this. Part of me wants to keep fighting. What I didn't say this earlier was that XH and I ML this morning. If you can call it that. But we did. I started it but he had no problem with it. We've gotten along great today. I know that last night when XH told me his plans he had been drinking. I still believe it is what he wants to do, but should I wait to see if he continues with it or drops it like he has so many other things? I'm so confused and hurting right now. I just want to be happy. I've spent the last six years with this man. Most of them have been in drama. I really thought this time would be different. Maybe give it a few days and see? Just cut my loses now and put the house up for sale? I don't know what to do. I pray to God for a clear path, but I still haven't seen one. The only things I know for sure is I love him and I want to stop hurting. Tonight we're going to the concert. I wish I could be excited (I really do want to see the bands that are playing) but I just can't do it. I figure since I have nothing, absolutely nothing, to lose I will put on a happy face and try to make tonight as fun as I can. I just wish it would matter.
If anyone feels they have the answer, please share.
