All - if I thought there was any chance left I would take it. But at this point, I just don't see it. He gives me absolutly nothing in return now. Not even a thank you or kindness.
We're civil with each other, but that's it. He does his thing and avoids me when we're together at home. There is no R to speak of. Since he got back from CA, I've gotten one hug, that I stole from him while he was mostly asleep.
And yes, the kid part is what's really bothering me. If D9 was my real daughter I would tell him to go and leave the kids. Go do whatever you feel you need to. We'll carry on just fine. And we would. But she's not mine. I know what kind of single parent XH is. And to me, not a very good one. He would put D9 on to whom ever he could so he could go out and party. Maybe this time will be different but in his state of mind, I don't really think so. I love D9 as if she were mine. I've been her mom since she was 3. Not to mention D11 and I have moved five times in the past two years. She's happy where she's at and is doing so well in school. I guess if it comes to it I will have to see what she want to do. At 11, what do you all think? Is she old enough to decided where we should live and what school she wants to go to?
And then there is last night...
Journaling... Last night he wanted to talk, so we did. He said he did a lot of thinking while he was gone. He knows why he's unhappy and what he wants to do to fix it. He wants to live in the city. He wants to either sell or rent the house out (yes, the one we just bought three months ago) and move to the city. Because that will make him happy. This is not the life he wanted nor is raising his daughter in the suburbs what he wants. His solution is to give it all up and move, again. No mind to the fact that the house is nice, the neighborhood is wonderful, the kids love their school and are involved in activities and have lot of friends. No mind to the fact that we just bought the house in a neighborhood that is brand new and still most under construction.
And notice this is all "he" and "his daughter". Right after this he asks me what I want to do. I just looked at him and laughted. My attitude was "whatever you want to do". Like moving to the city with bad schools and a high crime rate is a good place to raise a kid and then you'll FINALLY be happy. Right. Anyone believe that's going to happen?
I don't know what I'm going to do. Stay or sell or what. I think I'm going to tell him I'd like to get through the holidays first and then we can talk about this some more. I don't think waiting two more months will kill, but I'm sure he will.
