Something Like "Normal"

[Just_Me]

I lost my other post.

I exaggerated for the sake of argument. Yes, pass the mustard is controlling. But oh well. I agree completely with trying2staypositive. Too much right now.

But I wanted to just ask everyone that is chiming in, including me, to put themselves in Hope's shoes for a second. Maybe she does have her expectations too high, maybe she does have controlling behaviors. She can look at those and work on them. I've consistently said that she should put the focus entirely on herself and I don't mean learning to tolerate things that currently drive her nuts. I mean getting a life, being happy, and working on the things that she feels may be undesirable traits. Not working on the things just to make her husband happy. I don't think she should change herself just for him....(see Beth's previous post)...But Whatever...

But imagine this: You want a relationship with your estranged spouse, but it never works out. He doesn't come back. You get divorced. You get your own life and become satisfied with your independence, but still want your XS. Then here he is, you go out on dates, have sex, spend a lot of time together, eventually move in together and it feels like love. Then loe and behold, your XS informs you that it isn't love. He just doesn't feel it. He doesn't love you. And every day you see him and most days through complete disregard for you he reminds you through his actions how he feels. Also he demanded that you give up the activities you did when you were single. Those things are not appropriate. This husband you wanted back so bad goes out whenever he pleases, wherever he pleases, with whoever he pleases even other women and stays out til 3 am or later. You are not supposed to have expectations that he'll tell you where he is or what he is doing and you aren't supposed to even ask. Basically he comes and goes essentially like a roommate. Oh, the upside is that occasionally there are glimpses of love and they have sex, but it's usually just that. Now tell me...is she better off before or now? And what do you do? I'm not suggesting an answer, just trying to fit in her shoes. I personally would prefer staying the way I am now. Betsey, your relationship is better now (mine is too)...would you trade it for Hope's situation?