I’ve been thinking a lot about the period of mourning and grief I’ve been through over the past year or so and am so relieved to be coming to the end of it. I look back and remember how sad I was and am so relieved to be able to be happy again

Well WB, again we're on about the same page. I wish I could say I was coming to an end of the grief - I'm not quite there yet. But I'm certainly in far better shape than I was in for a very long time. Nine months since the bomb, 8 months since our separation and I can finally see light at the end of a long tunnel.

I wonder – do WAS grieve?
Has he gone through a period of mourning for me, for our marriage

I have wondered this myself. I know that several months ago, when my H mistook my gal for getting over "it" and told me I was lucky - he suffered in pain for over a year and I only hurt for a couple months. So I think he went through the grief of losing us before he left, although he never let on that he was unhappy. I have no real idea what the WAS goes through. My H never expressed regret or remorse to me, but when I saw his email history I learned, as he explained to ow, how much guilt and sorrow he had over leaving his family. He told her he was hurting but that it was feelings to be expected and that they would fade over time. Have they? Does he still live with feelings of guilt and sorrow?
I do believe that his new relationship brought with it good feelings that caused the bad ones to be buried. But I don't think they have gone away because they were never dealt with and so must be festering somewhere deep within waiting to resurface. I can't imagine what form they will surface in, but I believe they will bubble up at some point.

I can't help but conclude that I'd rather be me than him. In spite of the hell I've gone through while he has been riding the high of a new romance. I have had to face this head on and have done soul searching and made life altering improvements and changes for myself. He has run from pain and problems and threw himself into a situation where he is safe from self reflection and pain. I have grown. He is still clueless as to what happened to us and how we could have worked through it. I have had to recognize my role in our demise and have learned from it. He still carries within himself unrealistic expectations, and all the problems that brought us to this point. He may be doomed to repeat this until he learns what true unconditional love is and what commitment really means.

And so WB, although I have my opinion, I certainly cannot answer your question. I wish someone could. It would be very interesting to know what they do think and feel while we're left behind in the wreckage. Like most of this experience, we can only speculate - which in the end is meaningless.