Ah zeee younger man...you cradle robber you...I can say that because my nickname around my friends is Mrs. Robinson. The joke is that if there is a younger man or someone around my age...it is a guaranteed bet that the younger man will be the one attracted to me. For whatever reason...it's a curse.
Skippy was 9 yrs younger than me...that would be a 12 yr age difference from him and my exH. Age, is nothing, as the saying goes...in many ways Skippy was more mature than my ex and in many ways he was not...he couldn't have come at a better time in my life, when i needed to feel love and appreciated and for 5 yrs it worked...
Enjoy it sweetie....just take your time, as you know of course.
Hi everyone. Life rolls on and I’m learning to roll with it.
This week I’ve realised how much I’ve learned about patience. I made an offer on a house last weekend. It’s a really, really great house. It’s cute and cosy, it’s got a garden that’s big enough to consume half my life, but small enough so that it won’t have to consume half my life …It’s light and airy and the moment I walked in I just new it was the place for me. I love it.
I’m still waiting for the real estate agent to get back to me – she’s playing the normal real estate agent games, which is fine by me, but my friends and family are freaking out. They are like “Call her,” “find out what’s going on.” “she’s d!cking you around, tell her you are looking at something else” and I’m like – what? It’s only been 3 days!!!
I realised there was a time before all this happened where I did count time in hours and minutes – I’m so much more realistic about how much time to allow for things to happen for me now. I’m relaxed while everyone around me is freaking out. It’s quite funny.
You’ll recall last I wrote I’d slipped into a physical relationship with B for Boyfriend. Boy was it awkward for a few days? He’s been so good though. I have always been pretty straight with him about where I’m at and he’s obviously been listening. After a few days he took me out for coffee and basically said to me – Look, I know you have spent the past 6 months waiting for your H to come home and I know you’ve had a tough hard year and I don’t want to make it any more difficult for you than it needs to be. I do want to continue to see you and have a relationship and figure out where it will go from there. You don’t have to make any decisions now, let’s just go with the flow and see what happens.
His words hit me hard – because I realised that as much as I didn’t want to be perceived like it, I have been “waiting for my H to come home”. I don’t know why, but I just really resented anyone, let alone him, identifying that’s what I’d been doing.
So I didn’t talk to him for a few days (really mature), but we’ve figured it out and we are seeing each other, but taking it very slowly. I’m a different woman than the girl who used to go out with men before I was married. Then I was prepared to hope for the best in any relationship and I never ruled out any eventuality. This time, I’m almost expecting failure. I’m cynical and I have zero expectations for the relationship. I’m not sure how healthy that is – it’s perhaps just an indication that I’ve got some more healing to do.
The new interest has helped me to ‘drop the rope’ on H. I’m less consumed with thoughts of him and op. Sometimes I even feel angry with him – an emotion that I haven’t really had throughout this year. I’m beginning to see him without the blinding halo of “love” as a flesh and blood man who is making some really dodgy choices that I don’t condone. He’s been selfish and he continues to be selfish – not just with me, but with the boys and our friends. It’s all about him. I guess I have to work on letting those feelings go too.
So here I am. Looking forward to moving to my new house, looking forward to spending time with B and looking forward to a time where the thought of H doesn’t even phase me. I want to be indifferent to him – like a stranger on the street. I know that’s ambitious at the moment, but it sure would make life easier.
I’m following all your threads and continue to keep you in my prayers.
Cheers, V
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
And a cheers back at you Walking. Glad to hear everything. It's going to be good. I can relate deeply to what you've said. And esp. re. feelings about H. I have recently dropped the rope as well and I too am seeing H with different eyes.
Welcome back Walking Back ~ glad to see you found time to tear yourself away from that young man and post No honestly, you seem to be in a much better place right now. Things can only keep getting better. Esp as you are starting to drop the rope with H.
The new interest has helped me to ‘drop the rope’ on H. I’m less consumed with thoughts of him and op. Sometimes I even feel angry with him – an emotion that I haven’t really had throughout this year. I’m beginning to see him without the blinding halo of “love” as a flesh and blood man who is making some really dodgy choices that I don’t condone. He’s been selfish and he continues to be selfish – not just with me, but with the boys and our friends. It’s all about him. I guess I have to work on letting those feelings go too.
I guess the first step is recognising those feelings so you are already part of the way down that path. Funny isn't it how we tend to see our partners through rose coloured glasses and then we start GAL we see things more clearly. Well that is how it has been in my case anyway.
Hang in there, this second act of our life promises to be a great one!
I’m still waiting for the real estate agent to get back to me – she’s playing the normal real estate agent games, which is fine by me, but my friends and family are freaking out. They are like “Call her,” “find out what’s going on.” “she’s d!cking you around, tell her you are looking at something else” and I’m like – what? It’s only been 3 days!!!
That is so cool.
So here I am. Looking forward to moving to my new house, looking forward to spending time with B and looking forward to a time where the thought of H doesn’t even phase me. I want to be indifferent to him – like a stranger on the street. I know that’s ambitious at the moment, but it sure would make life easier.
Also very cool. But I bet you don't have to get to the point of indifference to feel at peace with H. If you get to the point where you see him as an old roommate you're still friends with, I'm guessing that'll be enough.
Then I was prepared to hope for the best in any relationship and I never ruled out any eventuality. This time, I’m almost expecting failure. I’m cynical and I have zero expectations for the relationship.
Expecting failure -- bad. Cynical -- bad. Zero expectations -- quite good! Let things happen. You don't know how it'll turn out. It has to unfold in its own course before you'll know. And if it ends it doesn't have to be a failure.
The house sounds great! I hope you get it!
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
Obviously you are truly no shrinking violet. B deserves some credit for his mature outlook I think. I've been the younger man twice and I think I was unfairly dismissed too often as too young. Fifteen years later I think sometimes they were right, but often just scared. You have his attention. That should say it all.
Way to go sprinter! I'm jealous of your sweet little house and hope you get it.
Sometimes I even feel angry with him – an emotion that I haven’t really had throughout this year. I’m beginning to see him without the blinding halo of “love” as a flesh and blood man who is making some really dodgy choices that I don’t condone. He’s been selfish and he continues to be selfish – not just with me, but with the boys and our friends. It’s all about him. I guess I have to work on letting those feelings go too.
You have expressed what I'm going through right now so succinctly. I am to trying to work through this as I still love H and still have hope but need to get to a place of clarity about our R if it is ever going to work. And I still need to get there if I'm to have hope about any future R. You are already on your way.
) 
