Oh BB – I’m a sucker for a little bit of pursuit!!!

Life is OK. Well, actually it’s pretty good. The process of exchanging contracts on the house and finalising the financial settlement have sent me into a downward spin which has left me winded a few times during the past weeks and now that I’ve kind of made a decision there is little hope for reconciliation I think I’m going through a new grieving process.

I’ve been living on false hope for several months and when I put that hope aside and got realistic about what the outcome for me is likely to be I kind of had a mini-relapse into the darkness. There is however light at the end of this here tunnel …

Despite me resolving to move on with my life, everything is moving as slowly as it has been for several months. H suggested we have a drink last week and sign the contracts for the house and settlement, but then I didn’t hear from him until I got an e-mail on Wednesday night saying he’d dropped the contracts at home and I should sign them – he’d pick them up Thursday. I was travelling for work on Thursday/Friday (which he was aware of) so signed and left them there for him, but they were still sitting where I left them when I got home on Saturday morning.

I believe he’s “not allowed” to see me and I ASSume op put her foot down about us meeting again last week to share time together while we were doing the paperwork to dissolve our marriage. He’d never tell me that though (classic commitment phobe – can’t say yes, can’t say no)… I wonder if he’s picked them up today?

We’ve had a bit more contact than usual over the weekend and today because the refugee family (long suffering readers and commentators will recall refugee mother and refugee foster daughters 13 and 16) have had a serious crisis – well more serious than their usual crisis - and refugee foster daughter (RFD16) has been removed from the home and is staying with me.

As usual H has been superb in his response to the crisis (I think he likes crisis) and has done more than his fair share of helping out – to the extent that he and the “lovely” op are taking the girls to the mountains at the weekend to give everyone a bit of a break from the drama.

So – what’s happening to my PMA and GAL? I had a job interview for the position in Far North Qld (yes, Cairns Kismet!!) and I think I blew the interview, but there will be some politics involved in making the decision, so I haven’t given up hope of that opportunity coming together. I’ll know if I get the job within the next 2 weeks. I’m also looking around for other jobs I might like better than the one I currently do if it doesn’t work out.

I’m seriously house hunting and I’m getting excited about the prospect of putting my touches on a home again. Spending fun time with girlfriends and my sisters; the occasional date with B for boyfriend and devouring more fiction than I have since I commuted to work in Sydney 2 hours a day on the bus.

I’m sorry I’ve neglected you’all for a few weeks, I’ve been licking my wounds, but I’m back up and at em and I’m thinking of you all.

V

V

Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.