Update: The custody legal work is bogged down in the system.
Last weekend, I spent Sat w/my best friend. We went to see King Kong, exchanged the last of Christmas gifts and had dinner. It was a great afternoon. During the course of our convo, the sitch came up several times and it was the first time that I had the nerve to say that lately, I've been looking at single women wondering if they'd date me or if I could have a future with them. That was so weird for me. After thinking about that, I come back to how complicated my life is now and not wanting to hurt DD's by telling them that I now have a GF. In my mind, I'm committed to them for another 4.5 years.
I had lunch with an old work colleague on Friday and he asked how I was doing and what my plans were for 2006. I said that I had no plans for divorcing WAW and that I was just going to roll with her punches. I said, I have the house. I have the kids and I'm getting support. I'm doing OK. And with those sentiments, I went into the weekend in a good mood.
For as high as I was on Fri, that's how low I was on Sun. A series of events just seemed to ratchet my mood down on Sun. One thing was lunch on Sun. I thought that I had made a networking connection to a new job, but it turned out lukewarm at best. Later I did have a good time at the rehearsal (I'm hesitant to call it a band), but the disappointment at lunch and something that happened earlier hung on me.
DD's are involved in a group that needs to raise funds for a trip this summer. WAW has no interest in being involved with the group. I'm involved with the group. As it turns out some of the fund raising events are on weekends that WAW has DD's and so she asked if we could switch the weekend schedule around. I had suggested doing this after the holidays b/c they were on the weekend, but WAW declined as she "already made plans". Doing my "Great Carnak" impression, I was guessing that rearranging her schedule w/DD's would mean that OM would have to rearrange his schedule w/his D and that was too much hassle. So now, I'm wondering if 1) her R w/OM is cooled way down or even off or 2) she has such control over him that he'd do anything for her or 3) does he not give a rip about seeing his D? Nothing to obsess over, but interesting none the less.
Now I'm thinking about my response. I want to say no. In the past, I always said yes to all her requests b/c I wanted things to be peaceful b/w us. When it came to DD's staying over night at the apt, I said no thru the L and that was a big 180 for me. I had always shied away from L's and No's. Now if I say no again is it a 180? Will it have the same impact?
I was a bit worked up last night, as I am most Monday nights b/c I have DD's and the schedule is too hectic. D15 needed help w/her MP3 player and the PC and MP3 player weren't cooperating. I "helped" D15 and it got done. Later I apologized for being "short" w/her and she said I was "a bit controlling". YIKES! I had a couple of conversations w/C about being dominant in the marriage and from the situations I presented the C said that I was not dominant. But that was her perspective. I'm going to talk to DD's about their perception of me being controlling.
I read your comment on your thread about Intamacy Avoiders. I did some research on the 'Net and found that one could conceivably categorize WAW as an Intimacy Avoider. It all has to do w/her childhood and dealing w/teenage DD's. I used to think that adults who blamed their behavioral problems on their parents were lame, but now I realize just how important two, loving parents are to children. I'm concerned our DD's.
