Let me tell you my "parking lot story". I'm driving with the family thru a big, strip mall parking lot, a little over a year ago. I'm on the main road thru the lot and of course, some joker comes thru the parking aisle and cuts me off a little. Not bad, not life threatening, just a little discourteous. I shrug it off and go on about my business.
But FXW is entirely agitated. What a jerk that guy was! Doesn't he know how to drive? Doesn't he have any consideration for anybody else? I should have honked at him? Why didn't I honk at him? He's just going to keep being like that unless people let him know how out of line he is!
So I got cut off a little bit, was calm about it, and got yelled at for it. That's FXW in a nutshell.
Then the bomb hit. She'd been much happier for two weeks before that. Less critical. It didn't take long to figure out that Om was making her happy. She was happy to see her new life in front of her. She was able to tolerate life's little frustrations a lot better. This was the person I wanted to be married to!
Now it's seven months later and guess what? The shine is off her new, positive self. She's not as negative as she used to be, thank gawd, but she's much like your W is in your post. Everybody's f*%king stupid. Everybody's incompetent. I get yelled at for not "chastising" people she feels deserve it.
When I think about not having that negativity in my life, it feels really good. When I think about having a future woman in my life who's positive, it feels unbelievably good. Almost like I don't deserve it. Like it's my responsibility to be the one who deals with FXW's down side and takes the brunt of it, because I'm learning to handle it.
Nobody else I talk to, though, seems to think I owe her that.
So I guess my point is, keep giving some thought to how your life would be without her negativity in it. Give some thought to what your life might be like with a positive woman in it some day. If W is still the woman for you then I hope you succeed in getting her back. If not, then I don't think you owe it to her. She can rest in the bed she makes without being saved from it, just like all the rest of us grownups.
Good luck!
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
