what I meant was When she blames you, accuses you of some ridiculous reason for justifying her actions or A, nuetrally flip it and tell her to take some responsibility.
I think that I can see how to do this in regards to her seeing DD's more.
1) I have invited her to dinner on Wed (my night w/DD) and she said that I haven't changed at all (she interpreted this as pursuit). So I should have followed up w/so you don't want to have dinner w/DD's on Wed PM b/c we are separated? Her answer would most likely have been yes. My follow up question could have been, "Do you think DD's would like to have dinner w/you on Wed PM?"
2) DD's are with me overnight on Christmas eve, and thus are with me on Christmas morning. I invited her to come to open gifts, but she will have her own Christmas with DD's at her home. I'm trying to figure out how to flip this to state that DD's want to see her on Christmas morn and just leave it at that for her to react to.
She is unable to D solely on her own? If she has she is pausing for some reason, thats good news for you.
I'm not sure what else she can do. I know that I don't have to do anything for 2 yrs. After that she has to request a court date.
what are her actions, not her words?
Her words: If I now seem rude to you, it is because I feel that any kind of "niceness" toward you will be interpreted as me wanting to get back together with you. I do not want to restore our relationship.
Her actions: This will take some explaining. Schedule w/DD's is thus: every other weekend (Fri 7PM to Sun 9PM) w/WAW. Tue & Thu 5-9pm w/WAW. WAW drops them off at 9pm. DD's stay w/me every night before a school day b/c I think it is in their interest to start and end each school day from the same place. In the beginning of the separation they didn't want to stay at the apt. I rarely travel for biz, but back in Oct, I went away for 2 days. DD's stayed at WAW's apt for two nights. When I got back I received an email from WAW saying that she talked it over w/DD's and beginning Nov 1, they would be staying over on Tue & Thu nights. I wrote back and said that I didn't agree w/this change and so she filed a custody complaint against me. (That's the background) In mid-Nov, WAW had outpatient surgery so I sent her a get well card. Just a simple card saying get well - H. She tore it up, put it in a business envelope and left it on the kitchen counter when she picked up DD's.
I'm pretty sure that she is angry with me because I didn't go along with the custody change. Her potential perspective may be, I'm not letting her see the girls to punish her for leaving me. This really isn't true. I just think that sleeping in a different bed every night adds a layer of stress that DD's don't need.
Today I sent an email stating that DD's & I went to a concert over the weekend and that I saw someone we haven't seen in 20 some years and that person said hi. That's it. So far I haven't received a reply, but none was expected. I think that I will start sending other superficial emails to her about twice a week or so, just to step up the "convo".
