ok first thing, stop allowing her to be rude. Litterally/verbally STOP her.
Ok, compared to last year at this time, that will be more that a 180, more like a 540!
If she does it again, which she will if you have been a doormat for a long time
Hi, my name is Jabez. Yes, I was a doormat for 9 months. Hi Jabez, welcome
You have to get in the mindset that you have nothing to lose . . . she is DAMN lucky you are giving her this chance to straighten out.
Recently, I've had the question in my head, "What does she have to do to get me to consider taking her back?"
Speak to her neutrally when you talk about the A always, point out her ridiculous actions and behaviors.
You mean I should mention to her that my friend saw her and the OM at the movies and when then saw him they dashed out of site?
This is not a time to worry about fair, equality, treat her as you want to be treated
Guilty on the charge of treating her as I want to be treated.
Its time to be strong, and earn--even sometimes--- demand (gasp!) respect.
Respect is a favorite word of WAW. I don't respect her this and I don't respect her that. I respect that she has feelings, I just don't happen to agree with the way she acts on some of them. And she has to respect that I feel that way.
Do you want to reconcile? Yes. Why is the D not finalized yet? 'cuz I haven't done anything about it. what are her actions, not her words? selfish, petty, adolecent What are you doing for female company in this desert time? nada, not comfortable w/it b/c of DD's Are you dating/ hanging out with friends? Why not? Yes, I'm hanging out w/friends. Mostly all our married friends.
call her say 'lets meet for lunch.' When she says why? or no. say 'comon it will be fine. nothing weird, just friendly convo.'
I'm guessin' the response will be "WHAT? I am NOT meeting you, I don't love you." To which I will ask, do you only go to lunch w/people you love?
How often does she initiate contact for unimportant issues? Email only about the D or DD's.
You're such a PITA. Uh, what's 180 + 360 + 360?
Get used to giving her some power after all ready actually having it.
I think that I understand, but could you give me an example?
How about coming over for dinner at your place on these days.
Tried that. WAW's response "It would be cruel to DD's b/c it would get their hopes up"
Do not lean--be needy, supplicating or placating. I suspect you were these things the first 6 or more months.
How did you know?
You have used the word neutral a few times, did you get that from the "break free from the affair" web site? What you've said makes sense. If only I could find a Professor Henry Higgins to tutor me and help me practice. Seriously, you have given me a lot to think about and I thank you.
