The parts that say these 7 steps, acting as if, validating, doing the LRT, etc will change your W, haven't affected her.
It also mentions, a number of times, that nothing's guaranteed and that truly it may be over; that the WAS isn't coming back, right?
Those mentioned techniques are all ways in which to help climb out of the emotional turmoil we find ourselves in, as we're using inherent techniques that stuck us there.
Is PMA just a "mind game"?
Everything's a "mind" game, more or less. Confidence, esteem, optimism is, as is insecurity, self-loathing, pessimism. We live in our skin, and all our contact and perception of others and the world around is through our senses, which are then interpreted by our minds. the way we see the world and participate in it, though originating in reality, is very much via our minds.
By not acknowledging and expressing our feelings are we living in a self-constructed fantasy?
No one says not to acknowledge one's own feelings. But we do say that there's appropriate and inappropriate expressing of it; there's thinking it through to determine it's validity; there's understanding distorted reasoning processes so as to break through them. It's not about knee jerking to one's feelings through life, not if you want it to be successful.
Reality is what you make of it, then. Our reality, most of us here, is that our spouses cheated on us and left. And we wanted them back. We also felt indignant. We're all at different stages and different maturity levels and different perceptions of it all. Choose any reality you wish, there's likely a conflicting feeling somewhere along the way, or a price to pay.
By not acknowledging and expressing our feelings are we living in a self-constructed fantasy? Hmmm, come to think of it, our WASs are acknowledging and expressing their feelings - and mostly living in a self-constructed fantasy as a result.
